A Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31:10, 11 & 28

“Who can find a virtuous wife…For her worth is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

“Nellie Haynes:  A Woman of Great Worth”

(written by her children for her funeral bulletin)

Nellie/Mom/Grammie’s 81 years of life overflowed with love, laughter, and kindness. Her love and devotion toward her husband during their 62 years of marriage was evident to all. All eight of her children, 24 grandchildren, and 30 great grandchildren give testimony to her unconditional love, her hugs and rapid-fire kisses. Her infectious laughter, giggle, and exuberant enjoyment of life permeated every group that she was a part of. Animals, flowers, and vegetables all flourished under her care. Seldom would you find her hands idle. When she wasn’t baking cookies, doing dishes, working in her garden, canning or freezing, writing letter to her children, making scrapbooks for her grandchildren or sewing lap robes, she was creating an endless number of creatures primarily using scrap felt, pine cones, seeds, and nuts. The profits from her “Haynes Hobbies” supported her love for travel and adventure—she and her husband visited all 50 states sometimes on their Harley Davidson, as well as Canada (numerous visits), New Zealand, Australia, and twice to the Philippines.

Early in her life, she trusted the Lord as her personal Savior and faithfully served Him in the church, Good News Clubs, and through hospitality. Even when dementia began to rob her of being able to express herself, she still would thank God for His love, as well as sing or hum the hymns she loved so much. She is greatly missed, but we know that just as God has promised to those who trust Him, she is now with Him and once again fully enjoying life…and we’re suspicious that her first word upon entering the glories of heaven was “Wowsy!” Thank You, Lord, for your rich blessing of touching our lives with your love through this precious daughter of Yours.

Mom’s Coronation Day

This past Saturday was set aside as a day for Laura and me to concentrate on prayer and so I didn’t check the computer until later in the afternoon. It was then that I learned that my mother had taken a very unexpected turn health-wise and was under hospice care. Since then I’ve had several Skype conversations with various members of my family and learned yesterday (Monday, March 3) morning that God had quietly and peacefully received her spirit to Himself sometime during the early morning hours (New Hampshire time). Because my passport was at Immigration waiting for the work permit to be stamped in it, I was unable to make any plans until yesterday when, in answer to prayer, our Business Manager was able to secure it and return it to me. I have a ticket to depart late tonight (Tuesday) and arrive in New Hampshire late Wednesday afternoon. Although there is sorrow and plenty of tears, there is deep rejoicing and thanksgiving that Mom is released from the dementia that robbed her these past years of true enjoyment of life and of those she loved so much. She’s received her “well done” welcome and is with her Lord whom she served so faithfully. Her funeral will be Saturday, March 8.

One of my sisters commented that you could hardly believe how prevalent the sense of peace has been throughout the final vigil. Sunday afternoon all who were there encircled Mom’s bed (praise God, thanks to Dad’s savings and kind faithful caregivers, both Dad and Mom have been able to remain in their home) and for several hours sang hymns together. Dad, in his wheelchair, holding Mom’s hand, joined them in raising his voice in praise to His Savior and Lord. Mom was quite alert during most of that time, her eyes wide open, which hadn’t been the case. One niece who was fairly near to Mom was fairly sure that Mom actually hummed along now and then. One sister described it as a sacred time as various ones expressed their appreciation and love for her.

Of course, I would love to have been there with the siblings that made it home in time (two of my brothers live close by and three sisters arrived on Saturday). However, God granted me, via Skype, an opportunity to once again thank my Mom for being so faithful, tell her I loved her, and to say “farewell” until we meet again on the other side. My sisters told me she opened her eyes fairly wide, breathed deeper than normal, and seemed to be searching the room as I spoke—I take that as a gift from the Lord that perhaps she recognized my voice and comprehended what I was trying to say.

I will stay with my Dad for about three weeks before returning here to Uganda. After 62+ years of marriage to a faithful and committed wife, the gap she leaves is immense. Even though for the past while, she hasn’t been able to communicate verbally or through body language, at least she sat beside him each day and willingly allowed him to hold her hand…but now she’s gone. Dad earnestly longs to also depart from his frail body and mind and be with the Lord, but in God’s sovereignty, He chose to take Mom first. As you think of it, please pray for him during these difficult days of adjustment.

Perhaps in another blog, I’ll share some special memories of my dear Mom…and there are many. But for now, we’ll rejoice that she experienced no pain, no suffering, no turmoil of any kind as she walked through the valley of death and that she is now totally and freely enjoying life with her Savior Whom she loved and served so faithfully. What more can we ask for?